CoMpliCated Me..Myself..And..I...

2008-11-09T19:55:00.000+08:00

Change of blog:

http://rasmirobin87.wordpress.com/

2008-11-05T22:07:00.002+08:00

Feeling Crap...

Wahhhh... Stress...!!! Cant cope wf wat i'm doing now...!!! Help somebody help. I thk i'm in my own world now. I juz wanna leave everythg behind and go away... away from here. To get peace in mind. I wan long break... It gives me a strange atmosphere. Crap..... argh...!!!!

2008-11-05T22:04:00.001+08:00

But I don’t care what they say I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing

You cut me open and
I Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

2008-10-19T23:05:00.003+08:00

2008-10-19T21:59:00.006+08:00

Upload photos....
Promise them i'll upload it b4 Hari raya but sorry man...

(Nice rite..... My room is in SASSY PINK... Curtain PINK too)
(My new Stdy table...C the teddy bears)
(Yesterday trip)
(Yesterday trip: Syu said my Husband)

(Nvr seen me in Baju Kurung...???)
(21st Bdea)

(Yellowish living rm same color as my riser)

(Room b4 cleaning up...Painting in progress)
(i bake these... i can bak ok)
(Left over hot chocolate, chocolate spa lol...)

(My new bow.... lol)

2008-10-19T21:08:00.003+08:00

HAVOC....wk 13-18 oCT 2008

Mon: Np semester is officially started. Decided to meet up archery peeps for lunch. Its always @ our port Alumi... Hahaha... Dinner was @ Alumi too.. LOL Had unexpected guest came along wf us. Alex joined us for dinner. It was wierd coz he treated us (Jia lin, stacy, diana, me and Syu)for dinner.Omg he actually said that it was super cheap, he wanted to order us desserts each. Lucky i stopped him. Ahahah... It took us ages to place our order coz all of us dun wan him to treat us. Surrendered at the end. We talked and laughed till 8plus i guess. Hilarirous coz he was trying to explain smthg to diana who is blur blur like sotong...!!! Lol... Syu was random coz she start talking bout " swimming, tatpoles, egg... ahahah Micheal Phelps, making out LOL...!!!!"

Tues: After 4 wks of skol, Alvin thought i'm a chinese..lol Whc part of me is chinese man..!!! He kept pulling my hair . Training wf NP, dinner again at Alumi... Crazy we trying out jia lin specs... LOL...

Weds: Decided to stdy in skol wf stacy, diana, jia lin. ended up training. Filming funny funny post while shooting... lol Will upload at YOutube....

Thurs: Got to noe tat my lecturer is from Athens "Dr Demitris Konoviss..." Gd looking man... He very funny, during tutorial he do the working on the board all over the plc till he dun noe where he's working was. He searched all over the white board for like 5 mins... Lol very funny. he's very nice lecturer, he can communicate wf us very well..... "Marine Engineer Practices Rocks"

Fri: Met my sis at Jp to chill wf her... My hp batt flat. scarry coz i cant remember her hp no. So i tyco juz wait at the mrt station. Was thking whtr i shld approach stranger to borrow their hp so i can switch my sim card wf them but i thk they will thk i wanna scam them. Waited for 30mins. Luckily i saw someone i noe... ahahah... Ismail he turn up at the right timing. Tat was lucky. "Thank god..!!"

Sat: Went Jln Sultan buy Nasi briyani and Murtabak...Its licking finger. At 7 meet Jia lin, diana, stacy and syu @ orchard. Tallked bout supernatural stuffs and all sorts"Ghost story sessions" They were like covering their ears especially stacy and diana... lol... Stacy and diana went off 1st. Rest (syu, jialin n me)went to Esplanade to chill. "Stacy u shld hav followed us man" Talked till 3am lol...Under the pitch black stary sky. Chill man.... Cool... Thanks jia lin n syu....Hope to spend more time toghthr like this....

Sun: Suck man .... Do projects, assignments..!!! Wah tmr is back to MONDAY again... Hate it man..... Hope tmr will be fine.

2008-10-12T18:25:00.002+08:00

Haiz...

Hate when someone you trust back stab you. All i wan is juz a trust...!!! Feeling like giving up, there 's like no point i carry on.

“Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy.”

2008-10-09T00:03:00.002+08:00

Feeling guilty......!!!!

Wah these few days been feeling guilty.... "I'm guilty.....I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty.....""

Argh... hate it... i always tell myself to follow my 1st instinct but after that feeling guilty... argh wats happening man.... !!!!!

Today i didnt go for the talk and i feel so guilty coz i was shooting... WTH WTH WTH......!!!!! Someone help me....!!!

"I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."I'm guilty....."

2008-10-03T12:12:00.002+08:00

My ship is not sailing as smoothgly as i thought..!!!!

Oh well... Life has not been good these few days... Kinda feeling screw up lately...!!! Studies really stress i guess coz they are doing like revision for wat i had learnt for 3 yrs in diploma level. Juz tat i forget all of it.... OMG..!!! I nid to study Business management, Business law, Electrical engineering and Informatics engineering stuffs, Naval architecture, Offshore engineering and some Waves thgy.Argh..... Kinda stress man..!!! Didnt even hav time to watch tv as in 9pm i doze off already...!!! OMG i'm lossing my social life...!!! This is only 2nd wk... Hope things will get better as the week comes. Hopefully my ship is sailing well now... Kinda feeling going back to work at the shipyard...!!!! I miss the old good days...!!!

"Hey there my fren, i'm really sorry that i caused u to sacrifies smthg tat u are unclear off...!!! I dun know how to put it in words to u but from wat i c u dun hav to do so...!! I'm okay wf it. Dun do it for anyone else. It was juz a remark, pls dun take it seriously...!! I dun wan our frenship to be affected by it. I treasure our frenship. Although i juz get to know u. Pls reconsider it, my fren...!!! Hope u will understand the whole situation. Thk carefully bout it...!!! Every time when i stare into your eyes, i felt guilty of wat had happened. Pls forgive me for wat i had caused. "

2008-09-18T21:09:00.005+08:00

Back to schoool.........

NEWCASTLE UNIVERSITY SINGAPORE
BENG IN NAVAL ARCHITECTURE

Isn't cool by the name...!!! ahahaha i was quite scared actually on the 1st day. Coz i dun know anyone except for couple of ppl there. Further more i was so unlucky tat i lost my voice. Thanks to the sore throat i didnt even get to talk on my 1st day. It was important day coz that where 1st impression counts. Met Raidah, she was from Sembawang Shipyrd. The company giving her 2 yrs off to study. WOW...!!! Isnt good.

Introduction of the degree program.... bout the exams, summer immersion programme... ahahaha cant wait to go NEWCASTLE Uni campus next yr.... He's very funny... Introduction of the lecturers who gonna teach us. Met my personnal tutor Mr Seref Aksu. Wow one thg bout them they are highly educated and very very experienced in this line... Very knowledgeble lecturer... Salute Them... "Welcome to SPORE...!!!!" 1st day went not bad. But still struggling to make new frens coz i cannot TALK..!!! Argh... it was so painful tat i didnt get to talk. "I CAN DIE IF I DIDNT TALK..!!!" That was what i told them.

2nd day was alrite, had this press interview and photograph session @ the Towing tank. Ahahaha too bad i wasnt interview due to my bad sore throat. But its okay. We- me, Feng Xia, Irmalliah and Chye Teck( my Lao ta) were like super stars where 3 photographers were taking pics of us wen the towing tank moving. Funny positions taken and had to smile till cramp.... "Rasmi smile...smile rasmi... tats it" tats wat was told to do. Hahahah our pic came out at the Straights times and Today newspaper. Oh i realised tat my sore throat problem get lots of attention. From the lecturers (MOT) to the Director. ahaha tats embarassing.

4th day had to come down to the Site. For rehearsel for tmr's launching of the FSI Degree program. I'm the reception gal wf Ting Ting. We came up wf funny-funny stuff wen we doing our duty. Juz ideas... Looking foward towards it. Its our big day........ One thg i realised tat lots of the ppl like to mimic my sore throat way of speaking... ahahah... Especially chye teck. He very funny guy. Oh he's from KeppelFels. A frenly guy i say. Always make ppl laugh. I wonder how is he if he is fierce or angry ...?Wen we watching the video, Juz now ME director he laughed at the narrator saying the "Naval Architecture"..... He said i do it better wf my sore throat.. lololol....Tats very funny side of him... He actually laughed at me... I meant in a gd way.....Wah Chye teck went BBQ nvr tell me.....K very tired tmr hav a long day....

2008-07-27T20:56:00.003+08:00

Keppel....

Sat 26/07/08, Chairman Meeting Session at Keppel. Wow kinda of scared. For the 1st time meeting the GMs and Directors.... Wah... couldnt sleep the night before. Dont know anyone at 1st, luckily met Feng Xia... fuhhhh... Lucky....!!! It was the meeting betwn the other scholars too. Lots of the University students are under the KeppelGroup scholars. wah cool guys actually...There is one gal who is under keppel group, she going to take the Maritime Studies at NTU... Lol.. She kinda funny and talk a lot during the journey home (Didnt catch her name). Met the Executive Directors- Mr Nelson Yeo, Mr Michael Chia, Mr Wong Kok Seng. They seems frenly... Enjoy talking to them..... After the introduction from the chairman, they made us introduce ourselves only then they we were allowed to go for refreshmen... Ahahah... i was the 1st one coz i was sitting at the 1st table... kinda paiseh..... Not bad get to know some of the current MOT sudents under the ASMI MOT scholars... Lots of them... Nvr see them before at the campus. During refeshmen chat with the ppl there... Learnt lots of thgs... Chat with Mr Nelson and Mr Michael Chia... They're very humble... very honoured to talk wf them. Mr Abu Bakar (Tall man look gd and smart wearing the Overall)- Senior General manager Keppel Tuas, he told us bout how he started his career at Keppel. Like his quote " Its not Job, Its not Career but Its Home...!!!" Smthg like tat... Cant remember the officer from keppel singmarine... he told us that there's alot of Newcastle gang at Singmarine when he met me and feng xia.... lol.... He told us that during the semester break maybe we can go back to the yard... Fuhhhh....

2008-06-24T22:52:00.002+08:00

Argh... feeling like shit these few days... Wat the hell.... I cant take it anymore....feel like giving up all of them. The more i thk bout it the worst it become. Feeling pretty useless and wasting others time on me. Such a jerk....!!! Wanna go far..far away from this whole mess......!!!!

2008-06-18T13:36:00.006+08:00

Some Pics Taken During the Trip....

Group photo Spore And Taichung archers

The TKO team

Their range

Silie and Derong at the shooting game..

Henry and me on the plane back...

IKO on the last day of training... Nice Blue Hoyt bow rite....lol

Me wf the rifle....cool rite...

Group photo....

Me shooting TKO....

The IKO final 4... haha...Silie, Me, Jian Yu, Ken li...

Me and Cindy... Slackers...

Dayyan and me.... Sisters and Bro coach said...lol(BBq nite)

Coach and me....

Ladies and coach...

Men and coach...

More group photos...

at the Nite market at 12plus

Trekking day... Otw to the range

Coach Liu Ming Huang... Gd looking rite....

Trekking... at the top....

2008-06-17T19:12:00.009+08:00

Well... Well.... Well.... I'm back from Tai Chung, Taiwan Overseas Training. It was a fun experience for me for first timer. Never expected the trip ended so fast. Went on 2nd to 11th of June 2008.

Day01 Tues: Flight to Taipei from 5pm to 1230 am. However had to transit for 1 hr at Hong Kong. Also due to the weather condition flight been delayed but we reached taipei as scheduled. Took bus to taichung for 2 hrs plus. Stop 1/2 way coz the diver wanted to treat us to a famous noodle restaurant. Their Pork balls are supper big....!!! Of course Dayyan and me didnt eat it.... "Tak Halal." Reached taichung at 2am plus like tat.... Shocked when reached at the Alice Hotel... Kinda of not wat i expected it will be...

Day02 Wed: Woke up at 10am... Training after Lunch... Took taxi to the range. Wah the taxi driver like Formula One racer.... hahah... coach was shocked and scared... Reached range, saw this guy very fimilar face. Seen it before.... Coach Liu Ming Huang... Ahah juz as i noe he was the Olympic Silver medallist in the 2004 Athens. He's tall in person. By 3 30pm, the University archers came in the range. Coach Wu introduced us to them...Cool man they were this nice wearing Blue kappa trackpants...and they shooting wf Hoyt Bow.... Look professional.... Funny tat they dint come and shoot 70m wf us. Actually one of them said they c us running, tats why lah..... den coach ask all of us to walk. Thanks to them... Yeah... only then they join us. Training ended early than in spore... Nitez went night market... wow lots of food and things.... some of the taichung archers joined us.

Day03 Thurs : Training as usual start earlier at 9am... After lunch and the archers came in, we do scoring together with them.. Shot beside Taichung archer, her name Mei Ling. Wah she super good. All within yellow and she shooting very relax. She even ask me to "Fang Jing Song" Relax wen she see me alwys put down... Then she shocked wen i told her to relax in mandrin, she nvr expected tat i'll said tat...At nitez the juniors had to stay at the hotel to do homework... the rest of us went back to the 1st nite market... went in this Mizuno sports shop... wah... lots of mizuno stuffs... its like heaven to me... ended up buying Adidas shirt and bag. Kinda dissappointed of wat had happened after tat... sigh....!!!

Day04 Fri: Did scoring wf them ...Arghhhh....Henry put me in the last board.... I shot beside Coach Lui Ming Huang and tat guy who Ken li said tat he look very fierce... yup indeed he look fierce.... Solemn and tensed at my board.... i feel kinda hot and wierd shooting beside him till i lose concentration.... i blushed they said.... walau ... where got..!!!! Coach Liu sent us back to the hotel... Wah... His car very nice... Training ended early coz the university students have graduation nitez.... At nite went to cindy's room to slack. Dint follow them go out... kinda fun... joke around and talking crap.... Vel was like crazy... but i like to disturb cindy... till she cant sleep... Sorry Cindy....

Day 05 Sat: Only us at the range coz they dun usually train on sat and sun coz its like family day and some of them have to work, especially the university archers...

Day 06 Sun: Treking day... Morng all of us walked to the range. Whc only took 30 mins only... quite fast. Henry was spliting those who taking car and motorbike, then i asked him "enough space meh?" Then he said "If not enough, you sit onto of the car...!!!" Then i laughed sarcastically to him.... Very loud... all of them laughed at me.... Silie said it was a very good and sarcastic laughter.... LOL.... Took Coach Liu's car, he very funny, i said to him tat take photo, at 1st he said no and covered his face, then he turn arnd back at me and pose... wah damn funny... Twice he did tat...!!! LOL....Lots of stairs to climb... very tiring... thights muscle are all cramp.... Borat... "Guah Li" damn funny, wen he climbing up the stairs, he said "I'm not tired...NOT..!!!" Lol all the way up... ahaha.... reached the top, went back down to the stating point. Had a good chat wf Cindy... Saw Lychee and jackfruits trees... Went to the nearby dessert shop... Somthg like ice kacang but bit diff. Not bad... i like the yam paste.... cope some of Dayyan's... Went to anthr vanue for trekking... this time no stairs juz slopes... The plc where its where the Taichung go for a jog.. wah they damn fit lah... Cindy taught me tis mandrin song... i only emembered smthg like "I...I...I..I...I...." wah tats the only line i noe.... After tat went back to range for training again, wah damn tired still nid to shoot...Nite went to follow Cindy's room mate to this Tauhui (beancurb) stall... Nice... the texture and taste very diff from spore's beancurb...

Day 07 Mon: Came to range bit early coz today training end early due to BBQ later in the aftern... after lunch we played water bomb.... wah cool... even coach helped us to make the water balloons... She pro... it took Cindy, me n vel ages to make on our own... We had a war wf the guys... Silie came out of the gents carrying a pail of water... i didnt realize tat and decided to attacked him, then he juz spalshed the pail of water to me...Fully drenched man.... Toh jin attacked Sam wf the shower hose... ahahah..... soon its over and coach ordered us to start training... damn wet how to shoot... ended up we played games coz we nid to dry our shirt "Rasmi nid dry herself coz later her man coming" wat the hell.... coach said tat ...Paiseh.... Team spilt to apple(Derong, tohjin, Silie, Vel, Angela, berth and me) and orange(Henry, Dayyan, Kenli, sam, cindy, guah li and Derrick) ..... Silie, Vel and me keep smacking each other "Nice one apple" Played till the archers come....Wrestling wf coach, played rugby wf vel and coach using coach's shoes.... BBq till 8 plus... Yeah..... Kinda hAppy coz of ehemmm.....Took lots of photos.... Damn tired and sad..... coz tmr is the last day here..... =(

Day 08 Tues: Last day of training...... shoot IKO wf them.... ahaha... i dun noe why i suddenly on fire.... even silie said so... then i told silie because if i go next round i'll be able to IKO wf Jian Yu... lol... Very on fire.. but wen i iko wf him, i lost concentration and cui my whole IKO... argh.... cool... After tat TKO wf them, they all shouted "Go Singapore" then i shouted "Go Taiwan..!!!" Walau i shot the wrong board... i shot their board... argh... they all laughed at me for giving them point... Felt bad... but it was quite okay, diff of 4 points... Sorry Guys.... Dun mean it.. Very sad to leave the plc wen we juz started to get to know one anthr... At nite went nite market last shopping....bought lots of stuffs... followed the guys play shoot rifle... wah damn shiok... my 1st time... not bad.. i won myfelf a gun... lol... shop till very late arnd 1 plus like tat... since we dun intend to sleep... back to the hotel, went to Silie's rm to play gun and cards... i thk can hear us from coach room.. Noisey... But fun.... played till 5plus

Day 09 Wed: Left hotel at 6 am, travelled back to taipei for our flight back.... the flight back to hong kong was kinda shacky.... felt giddy... all of us knockout... on the plane... sleeping... Reached spore at arnd 5pm plus.... near to 6pm....Very tired.....

I'm goona so miss taichung frens there... will nvr forget them.... "I miss you guys...!!!!" Thanks for welcoming us for the past 1 wk during our stay there.... Thanks for bringing us around... Do come to Spore.....!!!!

2008-03-27T23:14:00.003+08:00

Realised that running away from problems will not solve it but instead will worsen it. Damn it man!!! Hate it when it happened. Nobody cares what's happening around them, they dun give a shit to it. All they care are they want things to be done in to their way. How can someone be such a reluctant....??? Doubts.... Life has to go on.... It will be better if able to isolate to somewhere where no one can find..... It will be great.....

“Language... has created the word "loneliness" to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word "solitude" to express the glory of being alone.”